Catholic Problems

Last anon: I'm not sure either, but I think 7 or 8 is the age of reason. So yes, you are responsible for your sins after that. Sins can be lessened in severity depending on the situation, so ask the priest and let him know you're not sure. :)

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:18:35 -0400

Here you go, Anon!

Thanks for the help! =]

This is very embarrassing, but I have a problem with self pleasuring (maturation) and I want to stop. I feel awful after I do it and want to stop cause I know its wrong. A little help please?

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:12:20 -0400

Hey, Anon!

You are not the only one who struggles with this and God loves you unconditionally, so do not fear! With His grace, you can and will overcome this sin and be given His forgiveness. =]

I’m not sure if you are a guy or a girl, so my first piece of advice would be to talk with a priest, a religious, or a devout person that you trust about how to overcome this sin. This can be very difficult to talk about (kudos for asking about it and getting it out in the open, that’s a wonderful first step!), so talk to someone you are comfortable around.

Second, I would recommend reading this article. While it’s clear that you understand masturbation is wrong, reading this full explanation of the Church’s teaching on masturbation should help motivate you to fight the temptation.

Whenever you feel the temptation to self-pleasure, pray! Just take one step at a time to overcome this. Every time you’re tempted is an opportunity to say no, to become closer to God, and to fight the hold this sin has over you.

I’ll be praying for you and I hope this is helpful!

Pax et bonum, friend.

Hi, I'm just wondering if there's any leniency in chirch doctrine for a sin committed by someone under 18. I would never try to weasel my way out, but I'm planning for my next confession. :-) Happy Easter!

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:58:31 -0400

Hey, Anon!

I may be wrong on this, but I would say that since you are considered an adult in the Church (assuming you were Confirmed), that yours sins are your sins whether you are 18, 19, or the age you are now.

Again, I could be wrong about this, so I would ask your priest for a more reliable answer!

Pax et bonum. =]

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Sun, 24 Mar 2013 15:53:25 -0400

I am 21 and was baptised Roman Catholic, my mother was raised in a very Strict catholic household (she wasn't allowed to play with Protestants as a child) and therefore I was raised in a very secular household. I have never been religious but at the same time I reject atheism. I have had a very hard year, I was hospitalised for a suicide attempt and I have had two particularly nasty experiences in same sex relationships though I think I'm more attracted to the opposite sex. The point is I often-

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 08:26:43 -0400

Hi, Anon! Thank you so much for coming to me with your questions. First off, you are in my prayers and I will be praying that you become happier and healthier by the day. I am so thankful that you are still here to send me a message. =]

Your question is a tough one, but I will do my absolute best to answer it. (If any of you followers happen to have suggestions or words of wisdom that would help Anon, please send them my way!)

Each and every person is raised in a unique environment and a unique home - no two people were brought up the same way, and how we are raised does have an effect on how we grow up. Similarly, each person’s faith journey is unique; how they come to know and love God and how they practice their faith is different from how everyone else does it.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you a short anecdote that may be of some help: I was raised Roman Catholic. My parents had me baptized when I was a baby, they made sure that I received all the sacraments at the appropriate times, they took me to Mass on Sundays, etc. However, my parents got divorced when I was 16, which was also when I was able to drive myself around. Essentially, my faith became largely my own thing when I was 16. I started going to Mass on my own, occasionally with one of my parents, and became very involved in my parish. I like to say that my friends at church helped continue to raise me in my faith since I spent so much time with them doing various things like youth group and whatnot.

Now, the reason I told you that anecdote was to try and show you that a) we each have our own unique faith journeys and b) no matter the circumstances of how you are raised, you can always turn to God and overcome the difficulties you have faced in your life.

Regarding your question as to whether being raised more devoutly would have made your life better, I must tell you having faith does not mean that your life will be free of troubles and difficulties. Speaking from personal experience and after reading about the lives of saints, being close to God does not mean that you will have a life free of tragic or traumatic moments. However, having faith does help you get through these troubles, that much I can promise you. In that sense, it makes your life infinitely better because you can, with the help of God and His grace, find the deeper meaning in the troubles you face and realize that your ultimate happiness and destiny is not of this world. If you seek God with all of your heart - or at least as much of it as you are capable of at a given time - you will find comfort in Him. He wants us to be happy, but the happiness that He wills for us is not what the worldly definition of happiness, rather it is an eternal joy greater than we could ever imagine. Trials and tribulations are often key in helping us achieve this perfect happiness and growing closer to God. There are plenty of churchgoing people who are unhappy and confused, trust me. We don’t have all the answers, but we turn to God because we know that He does. Sometimes, you just have to have faith in Him and His plan.

As for your past relationships, if I read your question correctly (please forgive me if I didn’t), are you saying that you are not quite sure about your sexuality? If that is the case, I would say that prayer and reflection will help you be certain. Catholics (and, quite frankly, all people) are called to love and care for our LGBT brothers and sisters! To be honest, I am not sure how to respond to your statement that you don’t want to be attracted to the same sex anymore. Personally, I believe (and the Church teaches) that our sexuality is not a choice, rather it is a part of who we are and how we were made. If I may, I’d like to direct you to two resources: here and here. I’m hesitant to continue answering this question because I do not want to steer you in the wrong direction. Please don’t hesitate to send me more questions if you feel inclined, though!

The main point is that we are to embark on this journey with God and let Him work in our lives; He knows how to meet us where we are, challenge us to grow closer to Him, and how to help us when we fall. Do not lose hope! God knows you better than you know yourself, and if you truly want to know and love Him, He will help you. I can’t tell you how He will help you, but He will.

I’d like to leave you with a couple of quotes and songs that have really helped me when I’ve struggled with life events. I hope they bring you comfort!

“Be who God intended you to be and you will set the world on fire.” -St. Catherine of Siena

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” -Mulan

“To live without hope is to cease to live.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win.” -Margaret Thatcher

Songs:
“Faith to Fall Back On” by Hunter Hayes
“Let It Go” by Zac Brown Band
“Keep Your Head Up” by Andy Grammer

Pax et bonum, friend. =]

Your questions have been answered!

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:44:00 -0400

Greetings, faithful followers!

Instead of saying “I’ll be answering your asks soon!” and either a) not answering them or b) taking forever and a day to do so, I decided to respond to your questions and then tell you I responded.

So, I ask for your forgiveness for me taking so long to answer your questions, and I invite you to scroll through the blog and look for the answer to your question. If I accidentally missed it, please don’t hesitate to send me a message and let me know that I looked over your question.

Pax et bonum to all!

What is the meaning of Ash Wednesday? What happens at Church on that day?

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:39:08 -0400

Hey, Anon! Here’s a somewhat short answer to your question. There’s undoubtedly more profundity to the meaning of Ash Wednesday than I explain here, but I want to try and explain it as clearly as possible.

Meaning of Ash Wednesday: Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the Liturgical season of Lent, a time of repentance and - most importantly - growing in our relationship with God and preparing ourselves to enter into a reflection of His Passion and Resurrection. The meaning of Ash Wednesday is shown quite nicely in one of the phrases that may be said when you receive ashes: “Turn away from sin and be faithful toward the Gospel.” Here’s a quote from an article that explains the meaning quite well: “It is a clear call to conversion, to that movement away from sin and toward Christ that we have to embrace over and over again through our lives. As the beginning of Lent, Ash Wednesday calls us to the conversion journey that marks the season.” In short, Lent is about turning away from sin and turning towards God. By acknowledging that we have sinned and do sin (the ashes we receive are a reminder of this), we can turn away from that and begin a “conversion journey” back to God.

What happens at church on Ash Wednesday: Contrary to popular belief, Ash Wednesday is not a Holy Day of Obligation. However, going to Mass is still a wonderful thing to do, as it is every day of the year! The distribution of ashes occurs at Mass (although some churches do distribute ashes outside of Mass for those who want to receive ashes before going to work, etc.) where the faithful receive the mark of a cross, made from ashes, on their foreheads. Catholics are also called to fast and abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday.

Pax et bonum!

Can you help me understand? I am 19 years old and never been in relationship. I'm a freshman in college and I see so many people together, yet I am always single. There's a guy I am starting to like, I ask myself why I would even bother liking him. Nothing ever comes out of me liking someone. They never like me back, every time I want arelationship nothing happens. I like this boy and I would like something to happen. Why can't God see that I feel alone? That I would really like a boyfriend.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:29:25 -0400

Hey, Anon! Forgive me for the awful delay in getting back to you. Admittedly, I am often too negligent towards my ask box. I hope you can forgive me!

You are most certainly not alone in feeling this way, that is for sure. One of my dear friends just started dating a guy and she is 20. I’m 20, as well, and have never had a serious relationship.

The short (and sometimes unsatisfying) answer is that we must do our best to be patient, to pray, and to wait for God’s plan for us to unfold. This is much easier said than done, but God’s plan is far better than one we could ever imagine. Keeping faith in His plan and His will can help us keep going, no matter the struggles we face.

As for feeling alone, we must remember that God is to be our first love and our first priority, above everything and everyone else. It is through loving others that we love Him and vice versa. We are never alone, ever, because God is constantly with us - often in ways that we don’t realize.

I know that my response may be a bit unsatisfying, but honestly I believe that there is no quick fix. All of our relationships - including romantic ones - ought to serve God and we must enter into relationships out of a love for Him and for others. Romantic relationships are not designed to fulfill our needs, rather they are designed to allow us to search the good of our significant other out of love for them and for God.

If you’d like me to elaborate more, don’t hesitate to ask!

Most importantly - don’t lose hope! You are a daughter of God, beautifully and wonderfully made by Him. There is no greater blessing than this.

Pax et bonum.

Why are catholics so mean?

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:18:46 -0400

Anon, I am terribly sorry that you have had negative experiences with Catholics before. We are called to love everyone, but we are human and certainly not perfect.

If you could elaborate on your question, I would be most happy to do what I can to give you a proper answer.

Pax et bonum, friend!

I was thinking about the papal election today and almost cried at the thought that I'll never see a female pope in my lifetime.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:13:38 -0400

Anon, I would like to leave you with two articles as my response. They do a much better job of explaining the topic of women clergy than I could.

Article on Bl. Pope John Paul II’s discussion of the role of women in the church.
Here is the text of Bl. Pope John Paul II’s letter to women.

I hope that helps bring some clarity about the essential, unique, and irreplaceable role of women in the Church.

Pax et bonum!

Hi, I'm a senior in high school waiting to hear back from my dream university, Univ of Notre Dame. I would like to know what novena would be good to pray. I want to pray to guide the admissions counselors to accepting me and keeping me in their mind. I'd love to go to a Catholic university. Thank you so much.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:08:00 -0400

Hi, Anon!

I cannot tell you how excited I am to get this message, because I go to ND! Please know that I will be praying for you. Notre Dame is one of the greatest blessings I’ve received, and I will pray that you find an even greater sense of peace and joy at the university you end up at!

Here are a couple of suggestions:

This novena to St. Joseph of Cupertino.
Here is a novena to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Notre Dame’s namesake!
Finally, this has a little biography of St. Andre Bessette, the first saint of the Congregation of the Holy Cross, the religious order which founded ND. There is a prayer to ask for his intercession at the end!

Please keep this in mind: even if you do not end up at Notre Dame, have faith that God is working in your life and has a plan laid out for you that is better than you could ever imagine.

Pax et bonum, friend.

(Please don’t hesitate to message me off of anon if you are accepted and have any questions about ND! I’d be happy to give you my personal URL so I can help you in whatever way possible.)

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Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:01:53 -0500

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Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:30:56 -0500

Let us pray for the Holy Father and ask for St. Peter's intercession

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:46:00 -0500

Faithful followers, I humbly ask and encourage you all to pray for our beloved Holy Father in what is undoubtedly a difficult time for him. May we also pray for St. Peter’s next successor and for his success in leading our loving Church.

To your most recent anon: Find your bible and read Luke 15:11-24, the parable of the Prodigal Son. This son basically told his father, "I wish you were dead," and see how the father reacts: "He got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him... 'Let us celebrate... because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.'"

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 19:47:25 -0500

^ This.

Thanks for the submission!

months ago, I lost my faith entirely. I left the Catholic Church, and any form of Christianity. I had a friend hide my Bible, my Rosary, my Crucifixes, and the cross I wore around my neck since I was 14 (I am 23 now). I abandoned God. I must emphasize that in no point in my life have I ever been an atheist. Last week I was offered employment. I feel like a cheat to go back to God now that something good has happened to me. I feel unworthy of forgiveness for losing faith. Will He take me back?

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 12:40:43 -0500

Anon, God will take you back in a heart beat, plain and simple.

He gives us such unconditional, profound, perfect love. A love that we cannot possibly understand. He knows that we will hurt Him, leave Him, betray Him, sin against Him, go against His wishes, and fail at loving Him in return. Despite all of this, He still loves us as much as He ever did and as much as He always will.

He created you, you specifically to be loved by Him, enjoy this world that He created for you, and to eventually join Him in perfect happiness in Heaven.

He loves you. Always has, always will.

You are not the only person to lose faith. God understands that we are fallible beings, we are human and we sin. He calls us to ask for forgiveness (which He graciously gives to all who are repentant, no matter what), shed our sin, and work towards unity with Him as much as we can. It is through His grace alone that we succeed.

Do not feel like a cheat for wanting to go back to God! While I do not know God’s motives, it could be that He has given you this job to help you see the light and come back to HIm. No matter how much we sin, God does not seek to punish us. He wants us to be happy. Look at this job as a sign of God’s love and forgiveness: He wants you to be happy and He wants you to come home. Sometimes, despair gets us so down that we struggle to see the light and goodness that God gives us. Ask Him for forgiveness, give Him your love, and strive to love Him more each day. When and if you fail, ask Him to stand you up so that you can try again.

I will be praying for you.

Pax et bonum, my friend.

For Anon: Catholic men on tumblr who are willing to answer your questions!

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:33:00 -0500

A huge thanks to these gentlemen who kindly offered to answer Anon’s moral questions. Here they are!

And here’s a tumblr run by a group of Catholic men: thehungrycatholic

are you a guy or a girl?? bc i have some guy moral questions

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:22:57 -0500

I’m a girl, but I’d be happy to direct you to some great men of God who are on tumblr for your questions. =]

Gentlemen, feel free to shoot me a message if you’re willing to reach out to Anon!

Pax et bonum.

Further response to Anon's question: "So, you say that Christ alone can forgive us for our sins. We go to a priest because he is His representative. Why can't we just pray to God himself and ask for forgiveness?"

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:01:00 -0500

Thank you to those who gave these great responses to Anon’s question! I sincerely appreciate them. This is such an important topic and deserves a well-crafted and thoughtful answer, an answer much better than one I could provide. Followers, please don’t hesitate to suggest answers to help me explain things!

“I might be important to add to that the Bible says that we cannot pray about mortal sins (sometimes called “sins unto death”)(1st John 5). So the question is, how can we get this sins forgiven if we can’t pray about them? Well, Jesus gave his apostles the ability to forgive sins (John 20:21-23). And the apostles’ abilities are passed on to priests today. Thus, confession.” -inomnibusrebus (I would add to this what tradcatproblems says below about the priestabsolvingus.)

“maybe you’d like to point out that the priest doesn’t forgive us, he absolves (unbinds - Matt 18:18). Only God forgives. Also: “The Lady told me,” said Claude, “that when we go to confession we are kneeling down not before a priest, but we’re kneeling down by the Cross of Her Son. And that when we are truly sorry for our sins, and we confess our sins, the Blood He shed flows down over us and washes us free from all sins.’
http://www.theworkofgod.org/devotns/divmercy/claude.htm” -tradcatproblems

I've been looking to better my own personal relationship with God. I think I love this girl, but I know that I can't know love until I can learn to love God myself. I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking for here, but if you can help in any way possible (whether through prayer, guidance, or something like "Hey, look at this...") that would be nice :) Thank you!

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:38:11 -0500

Hey, Anon! I apologize for the delay in responding to your question, honestly I thought I had already responded, haha.

Anyway, it’s great that you recognize that you should seek to better your own personal relationship with God first and foremost! Remember that it is also in loving others that we learn to love God.

I’m not sure what your age is or what sort of relationship you have with this girl, but I would start by praying and asking God what you should do. Ask Him to help enlighten you and help you realize how you feel about her. If you determine that you do love her, ask God to help you stay virtuous in this love that you have for her. As long as you pray and ask God what He thinks you should do, you can’t go wrong.

I myself am called to marriage, so I think about this sort of thing pretty frequently. What helps me is to do a bit of researching on the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. You can find resources about dating (like this one), engaged life, marital preparations, etc. Even if marriage is a long ways off, it can be helpful to remind yourself what the purpose of dating and marriage is. In short, it should help you stay virtuous and God-centered during this whole process.

One more thing, and this may be the scariest suggestion I give you: have you considered talking to her about this? Speaking as a girl, we sometimes have a hard time telling how guys feel about us and an honest, frank conversation can really help. If you feel it’s appropriate and your relationship (whether it be dating or friendship) is strong enough, talking to her about it could be very helpful.

Please know that I’ll be praying for you!

Pax et bonum.